blog entry

I Want Candy

Gretchen Lancour

It’s that time of year again.  Fun-Size Time!  Also known as What’s-So-Fun-About-A-Butt-This-Size?-Time, or Halloween, whichever you prefer. 

Recently, The Poop did an excellent post about curbing trick-or-treating by kids who are too old for the event.  I wish I had it in me to hand out cans of sardines to the teenagers who show up at my door barely in “costume”, but sadly, I do not.  That’s what candy corn was invented for, right?  Is there any grosser candy on earth?  Circus Peanuts are a close second, but candy corn takes the cake. 

My dad was the master of ceremonies on Beggar’s Night at our house.  He used to keep two bowls of candy handy by the door.  One was the good stuff that went to the little kids, and one was the runner-up candy for kids over 12.   My grandmother was big into Halloween.  She would always count how many trick-or-treaters she got, tally the repeat costumes, and award mental trophies(and extra candy) to the most adorable.  She was also one of those ladies who gave you a handful of pennies if you were too old to beg for candy.

I’m pro-candy, and I have the thighs to back up that statement.  Please share your candy favorites,  greedy teenagers, or other candy-related stories in the comments section.  And by the way, how many mini Twixxes equal a maxi tuchus?